last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
