I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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