sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
