Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
