yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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