two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
