Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i believe in u and ur pee
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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