I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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