i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm always down for nudity.
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