what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize