you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
