Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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