I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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