dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
