Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
