her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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