I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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