from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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