While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think people are normalizing furries
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
