hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
