No, drunk sperm still make babies.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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