no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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