Can Purell be used as lube?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
