just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
