She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
