It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
