There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
