Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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