Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
