I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
