I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
