Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
