I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
