If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she peed on how many people?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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