Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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