it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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