i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
