Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
