no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
