69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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