sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
