were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
