Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
