If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
