just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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