Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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