I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
