i just google imaged poop.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
