I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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