I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
