sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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