Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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