if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
